I have a fancy car, therefore I am. Helen Grange looks at how our cars are linked to identity.

BMWs are favoured by extroverts, and the traditional Mercedes-Benz maintains an edge of reserved, crisp conservatism, though this changes to extrovert if you drive a Benz packing serious firepower.

The problem is that a car is a car, and to think it gives you self-esteem or sexuality is illogical.

BMW owners are often spoofed for their real or perceived arrogance and pretentiousness. One of the latest such satires is a video on YouTube uploaded by one Zent Rose, a BMW owner himself, who has a good laugh at his own kind as he gads around public places treating people with utter contempt, his shiny German car never far from view.

It’s a perfect example of how personal the relationship between a man (or woman) and his (or her) car can be. Sexy, strong, ambitious, crass, discreet, clever, superior, fun-loving, caddish, super cool, even dangerous… qualities such as these are often attached to what is, after all, just a hunk of steel, however shapely or speedy. You only need to flick through the ads in car magazines to appreciate this – the curvy, half-naked woman draped over a car bonnet being a perennial standard.

The car as a symbol of who you are, or how you’d like to project yourself, is nothing new, of course. Way back in the 50s, Roland Barthes noted in his book Mythologies that consumers purchase products “because there is an unmeasured value attached to them through myths and symbols” – and, in the case of cars, society tends to afford you higher status if your wheels are in the expensive bracket.

South African roads are where you find abundant examples of this, our showy political and business elite being among the most voracious buyers of top-of-the-range luxury cars. Their extravagance is grist for the media mill, which is how we find out that President Jacob Zuma’s son Duduzane Zuma reportedly drives a R2 million Porsche 911 Turbo and a R500 000 Chrysler 300c, and Julius Malema drives a very shouty Mercedes C63 AMG.

Lamborghinis and Ferraris have become the epitome of cool (sushi king Kenny Kunene drives a Lamborghini), and big, flashy SUVs continue to enjoy a robust market, despite being notorious petrol guzzlers and environment unfriendly (Cyril Ramaphosa drives a Land Rover). And despite the economic downturn, South Africa remains one of the world’s biggest markets for Porsche.

Wilhelm Basson, an architect in Worcester, owns no less than a Ferrari 348, a 993 Carrera Porsche and a Lotus, three “amazing monsters” for which he has lovingly custom-built a garage. While he’s a car aficionado who loves his cars not for the image but for the way they handle mountain passes, he admits to the fact that it was pure boyish envy that drove him to buy a Porsche. “I was a teenager and I saw this guy in a brand-new 911 Porsche Turbo, with the most gorgeous blonde stepping into it, and when he took off in that machine, my singular goal from that moment was to have a Porsche,” he recalls.

Hannes Oosthuizen, editor of Car magazine, confirms that South Africans do have an appetite for flashy cars. “The Bentley, Lamborghini, Ferrari and Maserati are all still doing well, and the Range Rover 4x4 has become particularly popular,” he says, pointing out that the buyers of pricey wheels – you’re looking at around R2.6 million for a Mercedes-Benz sports car and up to R2 million for a BMW 7-series – are generally not affected by the recession, though it’s no secret that some of the status seekers driving around in six or seven-figure vehicles radically skimp on the standard of their accommodation to make their stratospheric car repayments.

The sacrifice is apparently worth it, as luxury cars seem to glorify them in the eyes of their contemporaries. BMWs are almost regarded as cultural icons in the townships, being incorporated into the lingo with new meanings for its acronym like ‘Be My Wife’ or ‘Black Man’s Worry’. “The latest BMW 7 series is known as BEE, because a lot of these BEE brothers are rolling in them,” notes Lebo Motshegoa, founder of Foshizi, a research agency specialising in black consumer behaviour.

Other prestigious car models are just as telling about the character of their drivers. Says veteran motoring journalist, James Siddall: “Aston Martins are often bought by James Bond devotees and wannabes, while Lamborghinis are the preserve of those who find Ferraris too tame. As for the once-great British brands Rolls Royce and Bentley, they’re favoured by both old money and new. Think rappers in pimped-out Bentley Continentals.” BMWs, he continues, are favoured by extroverts, and the traditional Mercedes-Benz maintains an edge of reserved, crisp conservatism, though this changes to extrovert if you drive a Benz packing serious firepower like the one Malema drives.

Then there’s the naughty-but-nice Mini Cooper, Mini Cooper S and Mini Coupé. “Most Mini buyers are singletons or dinks (dual income, no kids) who rarely use their vehicle’s rear seats… it screams yuppie mobile. Minis are bought for their status appeal, style and the thrill of driving. Their customers are young, successful and not at all averse to self-enjoyment,” writes Mike Fourie, deputy editor of Car magazine in its December 2011 edition.

People imbue personality traits in the less conspicuous models too. The Audi TTRS Cabriolet, for instance, might be “blisteringly fast”, as motoring journalist Gerhard Horn puts it, but “not in a look-at-me kind of way”. “Agent 47, a fictional gaming character known as Hitman, is partial to Audi,” he notes, adding: “They (Audis) are clinical and understated, just as any good assassin should be.” As for the Hyundai, writer Sipho Hlongwane reckons “pale accountants” drive those, connoting that these are boring, predictable types.

Innocuous they might be, but the “pale accountants” and their ilk are probably free of the hazards of the ‘car as me’ phenomenon. Many luxury car owners also secretly worry about the repo man arriving. Also, a recent consumer behaviour study by the Temple University Fox School of Business in the US – looking at the link between personality, attitude, values and aggressive driving – found that people who believe their car is a reflection of their identity are more likely to drive aggressively and disobey the rules of the road; therefore, they have more accidents. And, as long suspected, the study confirms that men tend to be more aggressive drivers “because men tend to see their cars as an extension of themselves more than women”. There are striking exceptions, as any Joburg driver who has been overtaken by a well-groomed woman-cum-demon behind the steering wheel of a Hummer can testify.

Johannesburg clinical psychologist Sharon Levin says there’s much truth in the notion, in the case of men, of the car as an extension of their penis. “Yes, it’s definitely a penile thing with many men. It’s about the projection of power and sexual potency. The problem is that a car is a car, and to think it gives you self-esteem or sexuality is illogical. If there are no real foundations to your sense of self, the false esteem derived from your flashy car, as well as the money you’re paying for it and the false ‘friends’ who admire you for it, may eventually run out,” she says.

That said, you can’t judge everyone by their exoskeleton. To be fair, some people, like Basson, are automobile aficionados who love their cars for their superb engineering. As one rather put-out BMW driver put it, “I challenge other brand drivers to step into a Beemer, experience the piloty feeling of the raised console, coupled with the car’s responsiveness, and tell me if you won’t want to play a little on the road every now and then!”