When the cottage industry collapsed a few centuries back and left our industrialised society in its wake, a new cultural phenomenon became the norm. That is, people spending far more of their waking hours at their workplace than at home. Added to this is the fact that there are far more women in the workplace mix than in previous decades.

The result? Ubiquitous office romances, as men fall for proximal women, and vice versa. This has brought about various schools of thought – those in favour of a company policy to deal with office relationships, those against it, and those who feel a policy is inappropriate but a set of guidelines is in order.

What isn’t disputed is the frequency with which these romances occur. Last year, Health24 conducted its Great South African Sex Survey, and found that approximately one-third of respondents had had a sexual relationship with one or more co-worker.
The head of human resources at a prestigious law firm, who did not want to be named, says: “We have no fixed policy on this kind of thing. Obviously, it happens, and it happens all the time. The key for our company lies in the unspoken rules. Workers know they must be discreet about their relationship when they’re at work, and they must handle it in such a way that it doesn’t become an issue. So, there is no hard-and-fast rule or policy on it, and we would prefer it not to happen – but it does, and we have to live with it.”

She says it is a “tough one” for any human resources department, as it is difficult to legislate for it and you cannot fire someone for it. Jacques Sibomana, a human resources consultant who works in the development sector for a non-government organisation, concurs. “We certainly don’t encourage it and would like it not to happen, but we don’t have a policy on it. If people spend so much time at work, it is going to happen. Human resources departments cannot control people’s emotions or fire anyone for getting involved in a relationship with a co-worker.”

And it appears, from a recent survey, that office romances are not only a headache for HR departments, but for workers too. Last year, Independent Online conducted a survey among readers to generate stats and comments on this issue. Of the 1 164 who responded, 937 said office romances were bad and only 227 disagreed. The 80% who were against office romances highlighted the reasons for their vote. Some said that the fallout after a break-up often meant that someone had to leave the company. Others said that various forms of victimisation might follow in the footsteps of a break-up, while others commented on the particularly unhealthy set-up where the romance took place across the hierarchy lines in the company, resulting in a power imbalance that affected everyone in the office, not just those involved. Still others said that it resulted in scandals and gossiping, and distracted people from their work.

The few who were in favour of it said that as long as neither worker was married or in a relationship already, it was a normal part of life. South Africa is yet to conduct a survey that quantifies the number of companies that do have a policy on office romances. In the US, a survey conducted by the Society for Human Resource Management found that only 13% of companies had gone the policy route and, interestingly, many companies were not against office romances.

“In most cases, HR managers seem to take a positive approach to workplace romance, stating that it often increases productivity and leads to marriage. They also regard a formal policy as being too intrusive towards employees’ personal lives,” says a representative from Hagel and Company, a US human resources and payroll systems company. Anastasia Vatalidis, head of employment practice at local law firm Werksmans Incorporating Jan S de Villiers, takes a different stand. She encourages more South African firms to develop policies to manage workplace relationships. She was recently quoted in The Times as saying: “The workplace has changed. Today, work increasingly encroaches on people’s private lives and, as a consequence, their private lives encroach on the workplace. The line between one’s work and private life is increasingly blurred, and employers have to take cognisance of this.”

Margie Tainton, who works for the human resources department at the University of Cape Town, says the institution takes cognisance of this by implementing different types of policies and guidelines. “We don’t have a policy per se regarding staff, but we do have a policy in terms of staff and student relations,” she says, “and in the finance department, we do have a policy on relationships, as this is necessary to guard against fraud. Regarding relationships, we ask people to be discreet, to let us know that the relationship exists and to avoid public displays of affection.” American law resource company HR Hero encourages all firms to address the issue explicitly and not simply let each office romance and its attendant dynamics unfold.

It says the first step is to train supervisors and managers on how to deal with sensitive issues around the workplace and relationships, and to avoid workplace romances with their subordinates. They also say that if a relationship develops between a supervisor and their subordinate, one of the parties should be transferred to another department so that there isn’t a direct reporting relationship.

But, while office romances might be a grey area, sexual harassment is not – and sometimes the line between those two can change very quickly. It is, therefore, vital to “draft and disseminate an anti-harassment policy with a procedure for reporting complaints”. Hagel and Company advises: “Publicise your company’s sexual harassment policy to ensure that employees are not being made uncomfortable by unwanted advances.” In all cases – whether a relationship crosses a hierarchy line or not – the general rules of work conduct should apply. Companies often abandon plans to outright ban dating among co-workers because of legal restrictions and a recognition that, either way, romances will happen.

The main consideration when deciding which route to take – policy, no policy, or a set of guidelines – is the culture of your company. As Woody Allen once said: “Whatever works!” And, in the workplace, that means whatever works best for the business.